Sunday, November 14, 2004

Breaking up is hard to do ...

Got a call from a close friend of mine. She just broke up. Details would be spared to hide the identities of the parties. Let's just say that I know them both for more than a decade, and both the guy and girl are among my closest of friends. Now when i first broke up with one of my ex of 2 years, it took me close to 6 years to totally shake the impact. Now with this decade long relationship, I can't imagine how much harder it would be. We are talking about 10 years of memories. This is a hell lot of baggage to unload and it won't be easy.

Over the phone, I could tell she was holding back the tears. I tried to make sense of the senseless situation, but it was not easy. She asked me how I got over my past rejections (this chick who rejected me 3 times this year? :P) and how i moved on. She asked me how I could let things go so easily? The fact is I wasn't so "siao sar"( chinese for being "taking it in my stride"), it took 7 mths for me ... it could take much longer for her.

I did tell her that I had to find that "one single thought", that I could revisit to remind me, hey "stop wasting your time!". I took 7 mths to come to that realization, to wake up, to be enlightened, and make sense of the situation and move on. How about her? I do not know, but she would need to find that "one single thought" no matter what. It is usually the process of getting there that is the toughest.

What to do in the meantime before hitting the "single thought"? Get busy!! Volunteer to do some extra work in the office, take up a course, and catch up with all your friends! You'll be amazed how much you have missed out, and before long, you will find life full of hopes when all the opportunities (be it career wise or love wise) start knocking on the door. When you start complaining about all the "work" you are getting and the achievements you are making, you know you are on your way to recovery.

Do not wallow in self pity. Move on, cos the other party would. Why stay in one place when he will be off to see the world. You better not let the breakup hold you back. Your life is yours to embrace, so don't get stagnated. Hey if you are reading this my old friend, I am always available when u need someone to scream at, or just for plain coffee. My treat, and it doesn't have to be at Moonriver :) "When you're down ... and troubled .. and you need a helping hand ..."

No comments: