Sunday, October 24, 2004

My loving problems?

Now ... breaking up is hard to do .... and so is letting go. Well, that's my problem. I get attached to things too easily ... and I get attached for a long long time. Last year this time, I was crazy about this girl. And for the first time in the longest time have I since fallen so hard for a girl. Well, let's just say that I was a persistent ass and she was just too hard to pass. Rejections after rejections, I finally gave up, though it was still hard trying to let it go deep in my heart. Had to put up a farce, and straight face pretending that i have finally gave up. That was the toughest part .... pretending ...

Well ... fast forward 1 year now ... she's happily attached to someone else ... and I am really really envious of the other guy. We still talk, and she recently told me how much she is willing to give up her job for the relationship. Very cool. Guess some part of me wonders, when will I find a girl that will do something like that for me? Come to think of it, both my previous girlfriends, will never do that for me.

I figure the problem is that, in both my previous relationships, it was always the case of me loving the girls more than they love me. I was always the one willing to sacrifice, not the other way around. I should probably find a girl who loves me more than I love her. But the problem is, these girls probably would be easy to get, but I typically do not like easy targets. What a dilemma!!?? When will the right one come along? One whom I would love oh so much, and she would actually appreciate it, and not take it for granted?

Anyways, I do wish my friend all the best with her man. And I am truly glad to have moved on. What a relief!! :)


Lucia said...

My heart really goes completely all out to you when I read this post .. How we all do long for that special someone .. to love sincerely, wholeheartedly, equally ;-) till death do us part .. You’re not alone :-) Don’t wish for a girl who loves you more than you love her coz an unbalanced love never did work out ..

“The course of true love never did run smooth” - Shakespeare
so persevere & hang in there ;-)

Yuhui said...

If there's one thing I learned in a sociology class in uni, it's this: the one who is less interested (e.g. loves less) in a relationship is the one who controls it.

Anonymous said...

well perhaps most girls ain't mature enough to reciprocate ur love, it just prove that the right one is yet to come. But ironically speaking, i feel that the Right one never comes until you decided that she is the one. perhaps judging how much we have loved is not as good as appreciating how well we have been loved, a relationship is lasting only if both parties to complete, not compete.

well, saying all this i am still a victim of my own belief.