Friday, November 02, 2007

The man I married changed ...

If you saw a person that looks like me on TV this morning Channel 8, no it wasn't me. It was my evil twin. ;)
Why the hell would I be doing on a show that talks about online dating, together with 2 professionals, 1 a boss of a dating agency called Lunch Actually, and another Doctor from the states who is an expert in dating and relationships? Why would I pretend to be a single bachelor talking about my experiences and sharing my thoughts about people using online services to meet potential candidates for my life long partner? :D

Well .... cos my evil twin decided to be nice for once and help out a good business associate and close friend in need. Anyway it was nice hearing what the Dr Joshua Ting had to say from a psychological and sociological viewpoint of a professional about human relationships.

This was the last thing he said which I thought I would share with those who missed the show. "Pursuing a woman, to a male is like pursing a goal. When they get the girl, it is like mission accomplished, and they can move to more "important things" in life like the career. But when a woman dates, she is extrapolating and imagining how things would extend from the dating phase to the marriage phase. And more often than not, things don't turn out the way she expected and she would say "He's no longer the same man as I once dated".

My mom commented right after that "How true. Your father changed after he became rich. Useless man. After he got the money the whole person changed ..."

But I was thinking to myself .. "Wasn't dad rich already when my mom married him? What changed then?" Hmmm ... more food for thought.... :)

7 comments:

sylvia said...

don't think too much. if you meet someone who likes you and you like her, just give it a try. if the relationship's right, both of you will know, in your hearts, after sometime. don't even have to sweat over proposal and fear rejection.

Yee-wei Chai said...

Sylvia .. I think you think too much yourself isit? 文不对题。I think you should be the one who should not think so much. tsk tsk tsk ...

sylvia said...

true. it's my job to think, remember? it's my nature that i think, otherwise i won't be earning my living the way i am employed.

anyway, having an unhappy marriage in the family is not a prescient that you will have an unhappy relationship. you definitely can.

singapore critic. singaporeans love to "critic" about people around them -- i.e. offer opinion on what is wrong, lament, though not through the media.

in a relationship, it's good to voice the strong points of the other person, not criticise(critic) all the time. see violet's blog, she loves jamie(?), and she is not shy about pointing out the million ways she loves him.

critic you are. but critic we (me and others) should not be in relationships. we should be generous in love, loving the strengths of others.

soo said...

i hear this phrase a lot, but what if it's the woman who changed...lest my sisters out there throw a fit, let me qualify that i'm juz thinking aloud

Yee-wei Chai said...

Sylvia ... WAKAU .... u really 离题 liao lah ... I did not say having an unhappy marriage in the family is a prescient to an unhappy relationhsip .. where did u get that from? What I quoted in fact from that Dr expert,I agree with actually ... It speaks about the different attitudes men and women adopt when it comes to relationships before and after courtship. I think the takeaway is, how are both parties going to deal with the difference?

Eh dun read into my blog's name too much ... I am a Singapore "Movie" Critic ... relac lah ...

Yee-wei Chai said...

Soo: u shld think out loud more :D

sylvia said...

i did not watch the programme. the comments are not necessarily with respect to the programme nor this particular blog entry. They are some general comments.