tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post113531464284712110..comments2023-10-23T21:22:28.704+08:00Comments on Deep thoughts of a Singapore Critic: Getting PersonalYee-wei Chaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10607118963494740585noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-47453470739948923352014-08-11T17:56:53.732+08:002014-08-11T17:56:53.732+08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17602514748730871579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135565791177972262005-12-26T10:56:00.000+08:002005-12-26T10:56:00.000+08:00Eh no la. Please, not every girl wants the so-call...Eh no la. Please, not every girl wants the so-called "dependable type" with the "stable career". I adore you, my friend, but don't lump us all together hor, please. I'm with my bf not coz he's the type with the stable career; I'm with him coz he's a lot of amazing stuff in one person and also a "nice guy", who has "kindness" and "sincerity" - qualities which you rightly deem important. :) And yeah, we are a perfect fit!!!!!! as farewellwaltz puts it so well. <BR/><BR/>Regarding divorce, I think everyone here raised really good points. My opinion is: people divorce so much these days coz they marry for the wrong reasons in the first place...social/peer pressure, for the HDB flat, the girl wants to get married but the guy doesn't but does it anyway etc etc. and people generally have the "wrong values" about marriage. They think it's something you do until you don't feel like doing it anymore. <BR/><BR/>It's sad.Jean.Chuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14535329843727456470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135525318717582292005-12-25T23:41:00.000+08:002005-12-25T23:41:00.000+08:00i agree with what the last anon said...yes you may...i agree with what the last anon said...<BR/><BR/>yes you may be nice sincere kind, but it doesnt mean the gal u are attracted to will like you in return. love is more than this. it is also about the 'fit' between two people. if she doesnt like you in return, it doesnt mean you are too nice ot not nice enough. love isnt like this.<BR/><BR/>sometimes there is no need to get philosophical about why one loses out in the courtship race.<BR/><BR/>just keep on trying! take the time to woo the gal, know her, understand her and love her.<BR/><BR/>good luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135412800593934502005-12-24T16:26:00.000+08:002005-12-24T16:26:00.000+08:00i think "dependability/stability" and "nice guy/ki...i think "dependability/stability" and "nice guy/kindness/sincerity" are NOT mutually exclusive traits. It doesn't mean that someone seeking dependability and stability doesnt give 2 hoots as to whether the guy is nice/sincere or not.Just being stable/dependable is worthless if the guy is some arrogant a#%hole. Likewise just being nice and sincere will not suffice if the guy is loopy and ungrounded.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135384916544342502005-12-24T08:41:00.000+08:002005-12-24T08:41:00.000+08:00Also, remember my ploy: to hang mistletoe under th...Also, remember my ploy: to hang mistletoe under the doors of your restaurants, and over all the tables. Then you will have excuse to claim its bad luck not to kiss the girls (whatever girl you are supposedly attracted to, invite her to the restaurant) loh.<BR/><BR/>hee hee hee. Merry Christmas.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135383224359702072005-12-24T08:13:00.000+08:002005-12-24T08:13:00.000+08:00Yo andy, I am not undergoing some break up lah. No...Yo andy, I am not undergoing some break up lah. Nor am I whining about my lack of girlfriend. Just a little observations of things around me. I was just talking to another friend of mine who is going through a divorce. Just makes me evaluate my own situation with others.<BR/><BR/>and yeah i guess this is a universal kinda of thing. Women look for dependability and stability .. but realize things like "nice guy", "kindness", "sincerity" all don't matter anymore? Yeah they only come as afterthoughts. People base more things on first impression these days. So that's why "40 year old virgins" are seen as weirdoes and freaks as opposed to victims of "society". Nice guys finish last.Yee-wei Chaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10607118963494740585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135380747119092112005-12-24T07:32:00.000+08:002005-12-24T07:32:00.000+08:00as a fairly normal and run-of-the-mill kinda gal, ...as a fairly normal and run-of-the-mill kinda gal, i can attest that most girls, regardless of nationality, do seek stability and dependability in men - dont pin this on your singapore dart-board. And I dont think there's anything wrong with or "blah-blah"-worthy about seeking these elements in a relationship. I'm sure the right one will come along soon, and when that happens, the wait will be well-worth it :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135366022356201612005-12-24T03:27:00.000+08:002005-12-24T03:27:00.000+08:00What??? Wow...You are bitching about the WRONG TH...What??? Wow...<BR/><BR/>You are bitching about the WRONG THING my friend. You want a girl to like you? Woo her. Work out, wear nice clothes, smile, be humorous, get her flowers, be spontaneous, that kind of thing. These are the things that attract girls, not good business ideas and awesome taste in movies and electronics. Even a stable job, while that may make you MORE attractive, that's not going to make a girl like you from the get go. You need to provide a certain SPARK to ignite the chemistry. Yeah, it's fuckin' superficial right? Well, that's the way the world works my friend...superficiality gets you in the door.<BR/><BR/>AFTER you're in the relationship, then you've gotta keep it. This varies from girl to girl (also varies from guy to guy). Day after day, year after year, you prove yourself to be the kind of guy the girl can love, and vice versa. The day you can't compromise for love, or she can't compromise for love, is the day that shit like breaking up and divorce occurs. When you're actually in the relationship, you learn about things that she likes, and she learns about things that you like. You do that shit for each other, because making the other person happy should make you happy.<BR/><BR/>When people break up b/c their significant other has "changed," that's not the reason why they break up. It's not becauset things have "changed." It's because they expected one thing, and got another. Sometimes people break up b/c their significant other has NOT changed. The girl has constantly been learning and improving, while the guy has just been in a rut. Maybe in the beginning, the guy kept trying to figure out what made the girl happy and did those things, and then stopped trying after he got her. That's also a mistake. People's preferences change over time...you've gotta constantly find out the new thing the girl likes. My friend's mom recently got into wine, and her dad flew her mom out to Champagne, France so they could try wine together. They're still wooing each other after over 50 years of marriage. Was it change? HELL YEA, but that change wasn't so bad...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135335109852498142005-12-23T18:51:00.000+08:002005-12-23T18:51:00.000+08:00If Singaporeans are practical they will not divorc...If Singaporeans are practical they will not divorce. The high rate of divorce is due to Singaporeans now being too individualistic and selfish. They think only about themselves and never put themselves in other people' shoes. They don't see the need to put in effort to make a marriage work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135333257690830172005-12-23T18:20:00.000+08:002005-12-23T18:20:00.000+08:00Maybe you are liking the wrong kind of girls.Peopl...Maybe you are liking the wrong kind of girls.<BR/><BR/>People change only over a long period of time, So you have to wait the girls that you are attracted to, to change long long. Either that, or move on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827849.post-1135323854256733542005-12-23T15:44:00.000+08:002005-12-23T15:44:00.000+08:00Singaporeans are too bloody practical. Which is wh...Singaporeans are too bloody practical. Which is why the divorce rate is so high and every other person here is looking for The One - who has a stable job, is on the tried and tested path, etc, etc...all i can say is that you should hang on cos the right one will look past all that and will be able to accept you as you are.SelSaysIthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17321020531977278276noreply@blogger.com